Author's Musing

On words and feelings

I am alive and in my body and my body is me.
I come across shy sometimes.
It’s not that I am shy; more that I don’t like small talk,
I mainly like deep talk
Most people find it hard to launch straight into that.

Expression – I find – is just so much easier
When you don’t have to say any words.

I’ll go to a party, be the shy girl in the dress with pockets,
Nursing a gin and tonic in one hand,
Mobile phone in he other. Refreshing Instagram.
But turn the music on and I’ll say everything I have to say,
With the swing of my hips. Eyes alive with elation.

Who needs words, anyway?
To say the very simple fact that life is for living.

I’ll sit quietly in the office,
Typing, tapping, occasionally swearing
At the screen.
But get me up a mountain and I’ll stride
Beside you and let heavy breathing share the tale.

Why do I need to say out loud
What we both feel: hearts stopping at the sight of the end of the earth.

Ask me how it’s going? I’ll say ok.
But get me on a bike and let the tears pour
With every pedal stroke
Not even sad, just exploring the landscape
Of years gone by.

What more can I say with words,
Which I can’t get across with a firm and weathered smile?

Tell me that you love me,
If it’s true I’ll say it back.
But the best love, you’ll find
In my desperate tug at your shoulder
Arched back, curled toes.

I am alive and in my body and my body is me.
Words are overrated.
Unless they’re real.
In which case, write them –
And let them hang in the air forever.

I'm an NCTJ Journalist and work at Cycling Weekly. Previous to this, I was the Editor at Total Women's Cycling. I've also dabbled in marketing and copywriting - having been Marketing Coordinator and Social Media/Content Editor at Evans Cycles. My first job was working on a local newspaper.  I've written for a variety of titles on a freelance basis, too. I got into cycling when I entered my first triathlon in 2010. I now race crits, road races, time trials, and do a lot of track training for not very much track racing.

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