I am one half of a cycling duo.
Being one half of an all wheeling, all pedalling cycling couple has it’s obvious benefits – here’s a look at the 10 Best things about seeing/dating/loving/marrying a fellow cyclist, and some of the minor irritations that come with it..
The best things..
1) N+1 (perfect number of bikes to own, where N is the number of existing bikes owned) rules paramount. S-1 (perfect number of bikes, where S is the point of separation from ones other half) does not exist.
2) It is never quite clear who left the dirty oil mark down the stairs – both parties carried a bike up and down them today. Therefore, best just clean it up and no one points any fingers.
3) Your calfs are sore? Funny that – cos my hamstrings feel like elastic bands. I’ll swap 10 minutes of calf rub for 10 minutes of hamstring love and we’re even. Everyone’s happy.
4) You both understand the post-race/tough ride grunt/slump/ too tired to actually move or communicate vibe.
5) You’re waking me up to go to a time trial at WHAT TIME in the morning? Perfect – I’m off 10 minutes after you, so we can get up together and maybe even share a slice of cake at HQ.
6) In winter: Steamy windows, heavy breathing and a darkened room? Must be a couples Sufferfest turbo session. In summer: mid-week time trials – rolling back together as the light fades, and falling indoors for copious amounts of tuna pasta at 9.30pm.
7) Post-ride chillaxing with EuroSport is best enjoyed in pairs.
8) Though gardening/cleaning the kitchen floor/bathroom/nailing that mirror onto the wall are all important things, they are only important when the alloted mileage has been completed. Basically, you both know where your priorities are, and chores come after bike.
9) You both understand the importance of a fuzz-free life (this does mean shaving foam is sometimes sparse and always a shared item).
10) Holidays by bike – together. Exploring the corners of the earth, grimacing up the hills and smiling all the way down, searching for camp sites until dark and storing up memories to last a lifetime.
The worst things…
1) SP-1 does exist – where SP is the point at which the ‘bike room’ is so full that it is not possible to retrieve or replace a bike, due to over-crowding.
2) I’m sure we had an entire loaf of bread (his vice) and a huge bag of granola (my vice) yesterday… but now it’s all gone.
3) Tentatively: “Have you seen my other glove?”
Suspiciously: “Really… could have sworn I had it..”
Apologetically: “Well, it might be in my Car/Backpack/Jersey pocket..”
4) If one half is ill/injured/unable to ride – the other is either restless, or “just commuting to work” (with a couple of secret intervals thrown in there)
5) He’s got Froome arms and she’s got girl cyclist kankles/quads that blend into knees (you both find each other sexy though so who cares).
That’s all I got. Have you got one to add?